18

March
“Month of Mars, the growing light,
Anticipating Spring’s delight.
Hare moon makes wishing true.
Plot the path and drink the brew.”
Eighteen
“But thought’s the slave of life, and life time’s fool; and time, that takes survey of all the world, must have a stop. O! I could prophesy, but that earthly and cold hand of death lies on my tongue.”
--William Shakespeare
Henry IV, Part I, 5.4.81
March 5 Keolwulf 10
Adrienne walked slowly down the hallway, her movement precise and deliberate. She stayed close to the wall, hundreds of frantic bodies passing her in an effort to make it to their respective classes. Hectic chatter registered only as background noise. That was why she hadn’t heard her name being called. Hadassah grabbed her arm and jerked her into a corner. “Where the hell have you been?” She demanded forcefully. “You haven’t been to class in three days. You don’t answer your phone; you leave your AIM signed on but you don’t answer instant messages,” she paused and placed her hands on her hips. “What the fuck is going on Adrienne? You’re still wearing my shirt. Obviously you haven’t washed your hair. Did Deshawn do something?” Adrienne met her eyes, slightly surprised. “Yeah, I know all about what’s between you. He’s in my Law of Sex Discrimination class. Patriarchal bastard. Just tell me what the motherfucker did and I’ll break his legs,” her thick voice held an element Adrienne couldn’t exactly identify; she wasn’t sure she wanted to. “He didn’t do anything,” she said heavily, putting her book bag down and sitting next to it with her back against the wall. Hadassah squatted in front of her and stroked her matted curls. “It doesn’t make me want you any less,” she whispered. The gold flecks in her eyes glistened. “I’m not threatened by dick,”she said smugly. “Besides,” she added, running her finger over Adrienne’s mouth, “I can give you more than he ever could.”
Hadassah grasped Adrienne’s arm and pulled her to her feet. “You’re coming home with me,” she commanded. “We’ll get your car later. It’s Friday; they’re not going to do anything about it as long as it’s in the parking deck. Do you have everything?” She asked, still grasping Adrienne’s arm firmly. Adrienne nodded silently. “Fine. Let’s go then. I’m driving.”
Hadassah made abrupt turns around sharp corners faster than she probably should have. Adrienne didn’t look at the speedometer; she knew they were going 65 in a 45 zone. Rage Against the Machine’s “Testify” shook the speakers. The tone matched Hadassah’s driving perfectly; she was too numb to smirk. She laid her head against the window and let the vibrations dull her consciousness. The car had been parked for a while before Adrienne realized that they had stopped. She got out, carrying her lavender purse and mauve book bag as she followed Hadassah across the parking lot and up the stairs to the second floor.
Hadassah unlocked the door and kicked it open. She always kicked doors open. Force of habit. She entered first, Adrienne following meekly behind. Hadassah took Adrienne’s purse and book bag from her and tossed it on the blue flowered couch. The Jack Daniels bottle still sat on the coffee table. This time it was empty. The half smoked Black and Milds were still there. She walked into the kitchen, leaving Adrienne standing by the couch. “When was the last time you ate something?” She called. Adrienne sat down next to her book bag. “I don’t know,” she replied hoarsely. She could hear Hadassah rummaging around in the kitchen. “I’ve got frozen pizza, mac and cheese, ramen, bagels, pizza rolls, and random microwaveable dinners,” she said, emerging from the kitchen with a glass of orange juice. She placed it next to the empty Jack Daniels bottle in front of Adrienne. “Mac and cheese,” she answered quietly. Hadassah went back into the kitchen and continued clattering pans.
Adrienne played with the remaining macaroni and cheese in her bowl. Hadassah sat across from her on the floor, her gaze never leaving Adrienne. Adrienne had eaten about half of what Hadassah had put in the bowl. She ate methodically, as though her mind were somewhere else and her body was simply going through the necessary motions to sustain itself. She had been only partially present since the car ride there. Abruptly she stabbed the macaroni with her fork and left it standing up straight. She looked over at Hadassah for the first time since she had begun eating. Hadassah held her hazel gaze, searching as though whatever was bothering Adrienne would be held just below the surface and could be discovered if she stared hard enough. She reached out and held Adrienne’s hand. “Come on, maybe you should just lie down,” she suggested, leading Adrienne into the bedroom.
Reuel sat on the blue flowered couch and poured himself a glass of Jack Daniels. He emptied the contents of the lavender purse onto the coffee table: prescriptions, wallet, cell phone, makeup, midol, tampons, disc man, an Alanis CD, purple pens, battery recharger. He opened the wallet and stared at the Emory University ID: Adrienne Judianna Venet, DOB July 1, 1982.. He thumbed through the rest of the contents of the wallet. Washington Mutual Check Card, MasterCard, CVS card, Blockbuster card, Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance membership card, Medicaid insurance card, business cards. He stopped at the business cards.
Maria St. Claire, MD. Emory University. Adult and Child Psychiatry. Psychopharmacology. By appointment only.
Vanessa McClain, MA, LAPC. Emory University. Adult and Adolescent psychotherapy. By appointment only.

Delia Brown, C.C.N. Certified Clinical Nutritionist.Emory University. By appointment only.
He glanced over at the prescriptions that lay on the table. Depakote, Celexa, Seroquel, Welbutrin, Orthotricyclen.
“What the hell are you doing?” Hadassah demanded, emerging from her bedroom. Reuel poured himself some more whiskey. “ A redhead huh. I’ve never tasted a redhead. Are you going to be stingy with this one?” He challenged, the glass to his lips. Hadassah put her hands on her voluptuous lips. “Why are you going through her purse?” She demanded angrily. Reuel swallowed a large gulp of whiskey. “I wanted to see who you were fucking,” he replied matter of factly. Hadassah’s hazel eyes flickered with rage. “That’s not your goddamned business, Reuel. Now put all her shit back,” she commanded. “I don’t know why you’re so mad; I’m just looking out for my baby sister,” he taunted. “The hell you are. Now put her shit back before you start something you can’t finish.” His golden eyes flickered angrily. “Something I can’t finish? You’re the one with the fucked up bitch in your bed. Did you look at all this shit she’s on?” He thrust the Seroquel in her face. “Do you know what this is? It’s an antipsychotic, Hadassah. And this--” he said, pointing to the Depakote, “ is an antidseizure drug. Celexa is an antidepressant. You’ve got yourself the makings of a manic depressive. You better learn to do background checks on your bitches before you let them in your pants.”
“I better do background checks? What about that last Bitch you had up in here? Tatiyanna something? The bitch with Chlamydia? Put your money where your mouth is motherfucker.” She stared coldly at him. “A master’s degree in Psychology doesn’t make you a goddamned doctor, Reuel. Remember who dropped out of grad school next time you want to play shrink,” she said flatly, reaching for the whiskey. His golden eyes stayed transfixed on her hazel ones as she emptied the contents of the bottle onto the carpet. His eyes glazed over. “If you weren’t my sister, I’d cut you,” he said lowly. “Bring it on, Bitch,” she spat. Within seconds he had her pinned against the wall. She aimed for his testicles. He blocked her. “You want to hit me motherfucker?” She whispered. He stared coldly at her. “Fuck this shit,” he mumbled and released her. “Get your drunk ass out . Go shack up with Tatiyanna,”she said slowly, deliberately articulating each word. She spit in his direction as he slammed the door.